My never-actually-official word of 2018 was “Breathe”. In retrospect, this has been: the steady inhale and forced exhale over the throbs of contractions and the first gasp of air for Mia Noelle. reminding me to focus on my breath when filled with rage or frustration to the point of feeling the adrenaline racing through my… Continue reading Breathe
My momma taught me to be compassionate and my dada called me to be brave. It’s the riskiest combination. Compassion without bravery is hopeless and riddled with anxiety. Bravery without compassion is reckless. Being neither is selfish at best. I’m grateful for this hard, dangerous path they paved for me.
It’s been awhile. But I saw God today. In a black, female Reverend at a church service I probably wasn’t going to go to. I grew up in a “non-demoninational” (white evangelical) Christian church. This church taught me about God and my parents led with other people from that church to give me a compassionate… Continue reading I Saw God Today
“I have two babies,” Natalie says, carrying Baby Elmo and Tiny Tori. She’s mimicking me. I tell her “Mama has two babies” all the time, to remind her that no matter how much of a “Big Mama” she becomes, she’ll forever be my baby. Also, to let her know that I love her and Mia the same.… Continue reading Two Babies
29. When one baby goes to sleep, another one awakens. 28. For any one thing I know, I find 4 more things I have no idea. 27. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I know the love part is true deep in my bones. 26. Hope is… Continue reading 29
This phase of life, with tiny tots and smaller babies, is the laundry phase. Literally. Today my 6 week old was nursing and got so much gas and pee and poop that she saturated through her diaper, through her onesie, through her sleeper, and I felt a nice warm ooze. I didn’t want to interrupt… Continue reading Laundry
It’s terrifying. With the first, it’s because the amount and intensity of pain is unknown. With the second, it’s because it is. Modern medicine has made pain virtually a choice. Helllllllo, epidural. So why not me? Yes, I might be afraid of the giant needle going into my spine that is not without it’s own… Continue reading Natural Childbirth