My first prayer request. Thinking of what to blog about. I’ve never asked before because it’s so hard to say “I need help”, to admit you’re vulnerable. To show your struggles and admit that you can’t do it alone. That you don’t have it figured out, that you’re not sure the message will get there to God from you alone.
The truth is, my job is so hard. For various reasons, I just have to hold on for the ride. I’ve never experienced stress like this (and I made it through all those weed-out, pre-med college courses with As). And I’ve made it through years of this. Then add on a recent move, living covered in boxes around me (literally), hosting family, business trips, wedding planning (just barely), and living with anxiety.
To friends and readers, I am resilient. I am. But here I am, woken up in the middle of a Thursday night, scribbling on an envelope picked out of the trash to say “help!” This is my request written in a manic fury in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm.
My first blog post. My first prayer request.
God answers prayers for me every single day of my life. The list of answered prayers is endless. The list of answered prayers I didn’t even know to ask is endless. Fast forward two weeks and I can’t even begin to list all my blessings. I’m still in the storm, but God is here. And I didn’t even get around to transcribing my prayer request until now.
So in my messy life, racing against the clock, when I don’t even have time to request my prayer request, God heard me.