Scenario: You screwed up, messed up, made a mistake, hurt someone intentionally, hurt someone on accident, lost something, or otherwise screwed the pooch. You Should Say: I’m sorry. Inappropriate substitutions: Silence. Wait for it to pass. It was an accident, right? Apologies don’t fix anything anyway, right? Wrong. Grow up. Take some ownership. Say it. … Continue reading Things You Should Say. (and inappropriate substitutions)
It’s been awhile. But I saw God today. In a black, female Reverend at a church service I probably wasn’t going to go to. I grew up in a “non-demoninational” (white evangelical) Christian church. This church taught me about God and my parents led with other people from that church to give me a compassionate… Continue reading I Saw God Today
I can’t sleep at night. Desperately aware of the rest of the world cozy in bed, snoring peacefully. I often sit in my babies’ rooms and stare at them while they sleep. I stand in their window and look for signs of life. A car driving by, a door slamming shut, the familiar sight of… Continue reading Insomnia
“I have two babies,” Natalie says, carrying Baby Elmo and Tiny Tori. She’s mimicking me. I tell her “Mama has two babies” all the time, to remind her that no matter how much of a “Big Mama” she becomes, she’ll forever be my baby. Also, to let her know that I love her and Mia the same.… Continue reading Two Babies
Today, let’s just be present. I smelled the sweet potatoes cooking in the oven and realized that my house felt like a home. It felt like a warm blanket. This was the first time I felt home since my Mom passed away. When S asked to sit on the potty, I let her. I read… Continue reading Present
First of all, thank you. Thank you for taking over my most important responsibility and protecting and enjoying my greatest love. Secondly, as long as you love them, I will think that you are doing a great job. I might have done things differently. Scratch that. I WOULD have done things differently. I’m okay with… Continue reading If I Die… A Note on Raising My Kids
It’s been difficult for me to find the way back. Motherhood is puncuated by such change I sometimes find myself looking in the mirror wondering, “Who am I?” It is an un-anchoring to star into the glass. First, the person that you once knew so well, who is 23 years old, has been replaced by… Continue reading Finding the Way…
